11 July 2016Nasa scientists today celebrated the successful completion of a 5 year mission to place Donald Trump’s Ego into orbit around Jupiter.
“No one thought he could do it but he’s got such a high opinion of himself and such far-out views it was actually easy to travel such immense distances“ reported a spokesperson from the Kennedy Space Center.
Scientists had held their breath in the final hours as they waited to see whether Trump would make it into orbit or whether he would miss Jupiter completely by over twenty points and blame immigrants.
The mission has countered controversy from its inception as carries an altered Voyager plaque selected to portray the diversity of life and culture on Earth to any extra-terrestrials encountered. This version merely contains an image of an erect middle finger and a looping video of the Apprentice where Trump tells contestant Brande Roderick to ‘Get on your Knees’.
NASA’s next challenge is to land Trump on the surface of the planet by inflating a strange looking attachment to upper stages to slow its eventual decent into mediocrity and drown out its claims that it can build a bigger Eye of Jupiter.