10 July 2016Tonight’s European Championship Football Final is predicted to break several sporting records for overconfidence, haughtiness and general twatiness.
“It’s a fascinating battle of two different styles of superciliousness. On one hand the French have home advantage” explained one pundit “They’ve been masters of acting snooty for hundreds of years– I think it’s written into the Napoleonic Code. But facing off against that we have Cristiano Ronaldo, undisputedly the ‘Wanker’s Wanker’ I mean— Christ - just look at him!”
Ronaldo earlier this year won the coveted ‘Ballon de moi’ for world-class excellence in arrogance though he declined to appear in person as he already assumed he had won and was overseeing the construction of a giant golden award case.
A Frenchman was asked for comment for but he just shrugged and then tried to chat up our girlfriend in front of us.
“It’s a dilemma alright” said one fan today “Like that question ‘Would you rather be burned alive or drowned’ and the correct answer of course is ‘Tennis’.”