Soccer Fans Torn Between Supporting Arrogant Man Or Arrogant Nation


10 July 2016

Tonight’s European Championship Football Final is predicted to break several sporting records for overconfidence, haughtiness and general twatiness.

“It’s a fascinating battle of two different styles of superciliousness. On one hand the French have home advantage” explained one pundit “They’ve been masters of acting snooty for hundreds of years– I think it’s written into the Napoleonic Code. But facing off against that we have Cristiano Ronaldo, undisputedly the ‘Wanker’s Wanker’ I mean— Christ - just look at him!”

Ronaldo earlier this year won the coveted ‘Ballon de moi’ for world-class excellence in arrogance though he declined to appear in person as he already assumed he had won and was overseeing the construction of a giant golden award case.

A Frenchman was asked for comment for but he just shrugged and then tried to chat up our girlfriend in front of us.

“It’s a dilemma alright” said one fan today “Like that question ‘Would you rather be burned alive or drowned’ and the correct answer of course is ‘Tennis’.”