Putin Horrified By Eton Privilege

   
  

05 September 2016

A meeting with group of boys from Eton College has left Russia's President Vladimir Putin shaking his head in disbelief. Mainly at the way they pronounce words.

The rare meeting, held in a state room, apparently lasted at least an hour, during which Mr Putin was unable to get any of them to correctly guess the price of a loaf of bread or even a pint of milk.

“I can’t believe these idiots are going to end up running an entire country simply based on the fact there parents are rich and they’re named Hugo or Rufus or fu#king Piers.” said a clearly exasperated Putin.

“I had to work my way up from the bottom of the KGB. Times were tough. There were no favours for me. Sometimes Mother didn’t even have enough money to both assassinate a rival oligarch on foreign soil and start an illegal proxy war in a nearby former Soviet republic. We made do.”

It has been thought that Putin seeing a group of schoolboys from Eton ahead of entertaining the new Prime Minister Teresa May was a calculated snub but a spoke-person from the Kremlin issued assurances that it was “Just preparing ahead of time”.