Pokémon Actually Aimed At Children


21 July 2016

Fully grown members of the public have today been reminded that Pokémon is actually a children’s game and should not be played by anyone who has a mortgage or has at any point bled a radiator.

“It’s very confusing” said Karl a 47 year old office manager crouching down to capture an imaginary creature on his mobile phone whilst annoying everyone trying to get past him. “Pokémon has an accent above the ‘e’ so it should be quite sophisticated and grown up – like ‘aprčs-ski’ or ‘crčme brűlée’. I think it’s a grave accent or whatever the other one is”.

The app which in two weeks has helped Nintendo surpass Brazil as the 7th biggest economy in the world is based on a 1990’s trading card game designed for children who had no friends because they smelt.

“When the Harry Potter book series ended there was a danger that I might have to start planning for my future and acting like an adult” continued Karl “But luckily this came along just in time. Now if you excuse me I need to ring my parents to borrow some money.”