Banks Still W*nkers Despite One Day Holiday


30 August 2016

Research announced today has revealed that having a slightly longer weekend does not excuse banks from their unrelenting avalanche of utter fu*kery.

“I’ve been stuck on the M25 for 17 hours” said Helen from Barking “Normally I’d be furious but the fact I’ve escaped the living hell that is my job for one extra day due to this “Bank” Holiday means I have a big grin on my face. “

“But now I’ve just remembered that we had to give 100billion to the banks when they lost all their money gambling it away so on the balance of things it may not look too great for my grandchildren’s children who will probably still be paying that off.

“Bank holidays used to be great as ITV would sometimes show a Bond film” added Matt from Cardiff “Plus you can get really wasted on the Sunday and not just in the half-assed lunchtime drinking way your normally have to stick to because of work. But I was charged 100 last week for accidentally going 23p over my overdraft limit so can’t we rename them “Banks-Are-Twats Holidays”?

Despite all this a new government proposals for “Traffic Warden Work-From-Home-Days” are currently being pushed through Parliament.